5 Things Every Toddler Parent Should Know
As moms to both toddlers and kindergarteners…
As speech-language pathologists who work with toddlers…
And as people with a goal to help parents learn how to best support their toddlers’ language development…
There are a few things we wish all toddler parents knew.
These are some of the main things we share with our therapy clients who, too often, tell us they wish they’d been told sooner. So, we’re making it a mini-mission of ours to spread the word!
If you’re the parent of a toddler, this is for you. We hope it helps you navigate the time in your child’s life that’s animated by joy and wonder but complicated by tantrums and big feelings. The time that’s a little bit exhausting, and passing by way too fast. The time that has you counting the days until they can do more themselves... and also hoping they never need you less.
Here are the 5 things every toddler parent should know:
#1 The First 3 Years Are Critical
Age birth-three years is a critical time in your child’s development. During these years, their brain grows at the most rapid rate than it ever will again in their life. And development of all kinds happens fast.
When it comes to language, so many changes take place. Our children go from making a few simple sounds (like cooing and crying) all the way to speaking in sentences and having conversations. That’s why, especially before age three, we want to focus on language development: to help our kids build a strong foundation for future learning! And, the best way to do this is by talking with them. Even before they can respond back.
Talking to our kids supports their brain development. It’s like nutrition for the brain. It’s high-quality input, and at this age especially, input matters. This is why we’re so passionate about this age group. This is the time in their lives where you can make the most impact.
It’s also why, if you have concerns about your child’s language development, we don’t recommend the “wait and see” approach. As early intervention therapists, we want to help you early on so you can help your child early on. While they’re still in the richest developmental period of their lives!
Related: The Importance of Early Intervention
#2 It’s Okay To Do Less
That’s all good and fascinating, right? But, let’s be honest. It also sounds like a lot of pressure!
That’s why the second most important thing we want toddler parents to know is that it’s okay to do less. We’re really passionate about finding ways to reduce the stress.
We have found that supporting language development within the routines you’re already doing throughout your day — instead of adding on big activities with tons of prep and materials — is the best way to support language development. That’s because children learn things best within predictable routines and contexts they already know, especially when learning something new, like language.
Routines can be simple things, like:
Mealtime
Bathtime
Getting in the car
Going for a walk
Getting dressed
We talk all about how to increase language opportunities and support development during routines within our Songs + Stories Membership.
#3 Functional Language Matters More Than Academics
Somewhere along the line, it seems like toddler parents got the message that learning, for toddlers, was supposed to look like memorizing ABCs, numbers, and colors. But, in reality, these things typically develop later, and within an age range. (Learning letters typically happens within the age of 2-6 years old!)
The things our toddlers really need, things that help them prepare for starting kindergarten, are strong communication skills. That means having the ability to:
Ask for things
Share information
Respond to questions
Ask questions
...and so much more.
Shifting the focus from academics to these more ‘functional’ language skills means switching from teaching colors and ABCs to showing your child how to use words to help express their wants, needs, thoughts, and ideas.
If your child shows interest in things such as letters and numbers, that’s not a bad thing! And, it’s totally okay to build off that. Use their interest to help teach those foundational language skills.
#4 Connection Is The Foundation of Communication
At its core, communication is about the back and forth interaction, the sharing of information, and the connection between two people.
When your baby is a tiny newborn, it’s sweet and lovely to snuggle and love on them. But once they’re old enough to smile back at you… that’s when it really feels like you’re in it together. There’s a connection there.
Before you know it, they’ll be older and you will have built an entire relationship on that connection. They’ll tell you about their day and you can talk about what you want to do together. But it all starts before they’re ever responding back— when it’s just you building on little smiles, showing them the world, and teaching what you know.
Simple things like talking, singing, and reading are key to fostering that connection and helping to support development. Try to be present and connect when you have these moments.
#5 Control Is The Thief Of Joy
People think comparison is the thief of joy, but for toddler parents, it’s control! Actually, not even control, but the illusion of control. Because as a toddler parent, many things that you may think are controllable simply are not.
Each child is wired a certain way. Each child’s temperament is unique. And for whatever frustrating reason, with toddlers, A + B just doesn’t always equal C.
Some children’s language comes easy. They talk circles around you all day. Other kids have a hard time with it, but have other impressive strengths. And, like all other developmental milestones, children master different facets of language at different times. (That’s why all age-related milestones fall within a range!)
And, most toddlers have big feelings. Like, BIG. If you’re a first time toddler parent, that alone can be pretty stressful. Normal toddler outbursts feel unimaginable. You feel like you’re doing something wrong when you say it’s time to go or use a different color plate.
These are things that you have very little control over despite what anyone says or thinks. And trying to control these uncontrollable things is sure to leave you frustrated, overwhelmed, and less happy. It will almost certainly rob you of some of the joy of motherhood.
Our advice: As much as you can, go with the flow of toddlerhood. It’s way more fun that way!
What Did We Miss?
Are you a toddler parent? Are your kids older? Are you in it right now? We’d love to know what advice you have… or what advice you wish you had received when you needed it. Comment below so we can help more toddler parents out there!
P.S. Let’s Put A Pin In It
Did you know that you can now connect with Wee Talkers on Pinterest? It’s true! We’re making it easier than ever to save, revisit, and keep tabs on your favorite speech content with Pins and boards you can follow.
Why not start by pinning this post?